Lesson One: Sometimes it Sticks

You know how there are certain lessons that you try to drill into your children's heads and just hope that when the time comes they will remember them?  Well sometimes they actually stick.

Neither my husband or I smoke.  We don't have friends who smoke or family.  We have told our two girls over and over that smoking is a bad choice and something that can cause serious health issues and even death.  Being a cancer survivor myself, my kids have had a first hand look at how difficult cancer can be. 

We have always told them that at some point they were going to be in a situation with smoking where they would have to make a choice and our hope was that they would make the right choice no matter how difficult or embarrassing it might prove to be.

This past weekend, my oldest daughter (who is 12) went to spend the night with a friend.  This girl's parents are divorced and though we are well acquainted with the mother, we are not that familiar with the father.  This particular night the girls planned to go bowling and then spend the night at the dad's house.   What we did not know was that the dad and his new wife both smoke. 

My husband and I were on a dinner cruise for a holiday gathering and unfortunately did not get the call when my daughter first called us.  When she couldn't reach us, she did exactly what we have always told her to do; she called someone she trusted.  She called Grandma. 

She called Grandma (from the bathroom) and told her (in tears) that the parents smoked and she wasn't comfortable spending the night at their house.  She asked Grandma to come and pick her up.  We have always told our kids that if they get into a situation like this, they can place the blame squarely on us if they don't want to upset a friend or be embarrassed.  She told the friend that we had called her and told her there was a change in plans and because we needed to pick her up early, she needed to spend the night with Grandma instead.  In short, she lied.  Were we unhappy with this?  Not one bit.  She did exactly what we told her to do, get out of an uncomfortable situation by doing whatever it takes. 

Lesson One:  Sometimes it sticks!