Lesson Ten: Just Say No

My daughters are only 13 months apart, so they are more peers than older sister/younger sister.  Still, my youngest daughter covets her sister's attention and enjoys her as a friend.  Even though this is the case, it clearly isn't a strong enough feeling that she is willing to give in to peer (sibling) pressure.

My oldest daughter (Cailey) had a friend over recently for a sleepover.  They spent the majority of time on their own, patently ignoring her younger sister (Darci).  I know that Darci was feeling a bit left out and would have liked to hang out with the two of them, but was surprised and proud of her when they finally asked her to participate.

The two older girls had decided that makeovers were in order and had done each other's makeup and hair and were looking for a new victim.  Their makeovers involved loads of glitter and sparkly lotion, eyeshadow and anything else they could find.  (Both of my girls currently wear mascara, but that is it for makeup.)  They were relentless in their pursuit of Darci.  I would have thought that since she was feeling left out, she would have jumped at the opportunity, but she resolutely said NO.  The older girls begged, pleaded, bribed, threatened, but Darci didn't want to be part of the sparkly makeover and just continued to say NO. 

I was very proud of her but really shouldn't have been surprised.  She is not my peer pressure  girl.  She is very much her own person and while she doesn't want to disappoint people, and sometimes gets her feelings hurt easily, she is not easily swayed from her own opinion.

When she was a toddler, we were asked to participate in a research study at the University of Washington.  The study was very simple.  There were a series of small plates that were given to the researcher.  On each plate was a "yummy" treat and a "yucky" treat. The idea was to try to see if the child could be swayed from the yummy treat.  Darci "failed" the test because she continued to choose and share the broccoli instead of the graham cracker.  Even though the researcher continued to indicate to her that he didn't like broccoli, she wasn't swayed.   She continued to try to share the broccoli and not the graham cracker.  That's my girl!  It doesn't matter what people try to convince you of....just stick to your guns.

Lesson Ten:  Just say no.